State of the Yanks : Someone Disagree?

2 WEEKS since the last post?  Can't give up on a guy.  Long stints on the west coast, rainy games, late nights, it's been an interesting go in Yankee Land.  I was so displeased with Bronx Baseball I needed a break.  Since my last post, Yankee baseball has been better, but that may only be because they couldn't play any worse.  The Orioles are finally playing like the Orioles and the Yankees are actually tied for the wild card.  A pivotal couple games with Tampa and I guess this thing is technically completely turned around?

We'll see.  But here's what I'm seeing:

Phil Hughes and Hiroki Kuroda are bipolar pitchers.  Legit Jekyl and Hyde performances night after night.  It's frustrating.

This starting rotation will not get it done.  Not in October, and not for 162 games.  There needs to be a move here.

Andy Pettitte NEEDS to be good ALL summer for this team to have a real shot.

Rafael Soriano has been quietly solid in the closer role.

Curtis Granderson could strike out 200 times.  While hitting 40 HRs.  This is not good.

The HR reliance needs to stop.  It's alarming that Brett Gardner and Derek Jeter are truly the only small ball players on this team.

Russ Martin could strike out in a tee ball game.

That's it for now.  Let's see how I react after this TB series.

1 Game Out - Of Last

Throughout April, Derek Jeter was nearly able to single handedly carry the Yankees on his 38 year old shoulders while the pitching staff found their way, Nick Swisher and Brett Gardner got hurt, and Arod and Teixeira completely forgot how to hit in the clutch all together.  We just lost 2 of 3 to the Cincinnati Reds.  Are you kidding me?

This is not the Yankees we are accustomed to.  Speed and a 'win at all cost mindset' is not part of this Yankees team.  Players have 'coughs' and are rotated in and out of the DH spot to prevent their bodies from falling apart.  Mariano Rivera is gone, and teams now play the same number of innings as the Yankees.  Jorge Posada is watching the Price is Right and cruising around Miami in his mini-yacht with his wife and family.  39 year old Andy Pettitte is doing everything he can to hold this together, pitching a solid two outtings, but not getting Ws.  No, this really isn't a good Yankees team right now.  Not at all.

We're watching a mediocre management team, a mediocre coach, and a group of overplayed, aging premadonnas trying to milk the final years of their contracts.  George Steinbrenner would be furious.  There would be newspaper covers with his qoutes, calling out players and returning a better result for the fans.  These sons of his are clearly not him.  Endless amounts of poor mistakes by Joe Girardi and poor decisions by Brian Cashman mixed with a little unlucky streak have the Yankees 1 game out of last place for the first time in 20 + years.

This is a tough time to be a fan.  It is painful to watch.  Wins are dull and losses are brutal.  Something must change, and luck alone wont do it.  This team needs to be pressured to perform or it should be known there will be change.  It HAS to happen or it's going to be a very long summer.

'Don't Stop Relievin' Review

This thing got off to a real slow start, then I heard 'Dont Stop Relievin - ACL's Healin'.  I laughed.  Really the only thing that's made me laugh about the Yankees in days.  At first I thought this had no promise.  None.  I went to a school where the original song might as well be the theme song. Heard it 2 million times too many.  Somehow, however, this goofy guy managed to make me laugh by working in 'meniscus tear' to the tune of Steve Perry.  The power of Mo I guess.  Well done sir well done.

The Yankees better win this series with the O's.  Or I'm going to start thinking 'Our Pets Heads Are Falling Off'.  Nuff said.

Grading Pettitte : Positive First Outting

Andy Pettitte lasted till into the 7th today.  Showing some signs of rust, but generally doing what he always has.  His pitch count was low late and despite a few mistakes, I'd view this as a positive outing.  It's absolutely reassuring to see him pitch well, and I thought he deserved the ovation he got.  It's not easy to sit on the couch for 18 months and then come back out and pitch in the Majors. If I took my eyes off the internet for that long and tried to bring my A-Game back, I wouldn't even know where to begin.  This game could have been an absolute dud for Andy, but he held his own, and we can only hope he continues to fine tune things and builds on this performance.  Overall useless letter grade: B

What is awful is the Yankees 2-3-4-5 hitter going a combined 1-13 against 37 year old Kevin Millwood.  Mark Teixeira, who I've attacked previously for everything from being a softy, to thinking I was drunk when I read his .212 BA, needs to be dropped in the lineup at this point and ARod should be put in the 5 hole.  I mentioned something to the tune of this earlier in the week, and the Yankees just aren't seeing the output needed from them.  Russel Martin's anemic .182 BA also cannot be overlooked at this point.  ARod has gotten by, but Tex and Martin are now massive holes in the lineup.

This is a problem.  Again, if this team believed their spots in the batting order were in doubt, they might play better, but that just doesn't seem to be the case with Girardi.  He's willing to give players endless amounts of time to come around and it has more than often come back to hurt the team.  If Big George (RIP) was still around, I guarantee there would be some action here.

All in, Welcome Back Andy.  One more World Series run and people are going to struggle to not vote you into the Hall.  Happy Mothers Day.

CC is a BOSS

CC Sabathia is an absolute BOSS.  Watching him fist pump get me fired up.  Need a pick me up in my cubicle?  Just rewatch a CC Fist Bump video and I'm instantly a little bit happier about my existence and lack of a window view. 

The big fella is truly worth every penny the Yankees pay him.  He consistently steps up to the plate when the Yankees absolutely need him the most.  Yes, the playoffs are a different story.  However, when he locks in, you know what you're going to get: 8+ innings, 9-12Ks, and a day of rest for the bullpen.  Personally, I think if he wins another championship in pin stripes he starts to enter the Hall of Fame discussions.

Also, it's nice to see Robbie Cano get rolling.   I did think I was still drunk this morning when I saw Teixera's .212 BA.  I understand his defensive value but this guy needs to pick it up.  He absolutely needs to learn to take the ball the other way to avoid the shift.  At this point, as I tweeted about, it may be time to drop him in the order to take some pressure off.

Beckett on Course - To Pound Beers Playing 18 (Probably)

ESPN
Been a while since I ripped the Red Sox.  Started to feel bad for them being in last place, still claiming sell outs with the seats half full, and generally being terrible. Also,  felt bad they had to play for Bobby V.  I've  also learned that since it's the regular season, players just don't have the time to do stupid things that I can blog about.

 Today we learn that my personal most hated Red Sox, Josh Beckett, decided to take a day off and play some golf when he was supposed to be resting a sore shoulder after skipping a start.  Talk about a blogger layup.  Last year's Beer and Chicken ring leader, the chubby Beckett (see above) continues to make excellent decisions in his sole mission to send this 2012 Boston team further sinking into oblivion.  Now, I personally pound a good 4-6 beers on 18 holes.  More if I'm not driving.  Josh here no doubt took down a least a 12 pack.  As if almost personally tanking 2011 wasn't enough, I'm betting this move is going to go over great in the clubhouse.  As always, keep up the good work in Boston!

Ol Ironsides Andy Pettitte Comin Back

4 more days boys...

See that?  You complain in a blog that the Yankees need a spark and then your wish is granted - Andy Pettitte is coming back to pitch on Sunday.  Just four more nights without ol' Andy and the Yankees might get what they need.  Sure he's pushing 40.  Sure he could be the top MLB Candidate for the next Just for Men commercial.  But he can win.  I hope.  I really hope.  Look I'm pretty beat thus far about the performance of this team.  I went on and on and on last night about something missing.  I was about to become the guy from the bleachers in Major League and borderline give up.  I just don't see 90 wins right now, and that's what its going to take.  Especially with that stupid one game wild card play in.  You really want the Yankees to pitch CC in that game and be left with what they got? H to the Ell No.

Here's something that hit me today when I was sitting in my cubicle contemplating nirvana.  Do people actually still fear Alex Rodriguez and Mark Teixeira?  At one point do pitchers actually just know these guys love to make soft outs in difficult situations.  Psychological advantage 101 right there.  I want to know what people think.  But I know no one will leave a comment.  Because no one actually reads this anyway.

This is What I Come Back To?

5 Days on the left coast and this is what I return to?  A 2-2 split with the Kansas City Royals?  Billy Butler hitting the ball like he's Matt Kemp?  Players admitting they are happy with the split?  A paltry +12 run differential, with Alex Rodriguez and Robinson Cano generating the same amount of HRs and RBI as the hobbled Nick Swisher on the season?

Not happy.  The starting rotation is still searching for an identity like a lost college student studying abroad in Europe.  Phil Hughes, despite an average outing, is definitely lost in Amsterdam somewhere.  And obviously there's the 900 lb gorilla in the room in losing Mariano Rivera.

In all honesty, I thought the man had died or someone had assassinated him.   Yes, he is a living legend.  No, this is not what anyone wants to see happen.  As we've now learned, Greatness refuses to go out like this.  What's left to say here?  Nothing, because every writer in existence already penned Mo's obituary.  You're not going to get that from me. ARod's Oh My God face was the biggest girly man move I've come across when dealing with a teammates injury.  DJ had to set the record straight, as he continues to carry the team both on and off the field.  The show must go on.  David Robertson is a more than adequate replacement.  He absolutely doesn't carry the same aura, but he sure as hell gets people out. Did you even know his ERA is 0.00?  Mo's ERA ever been that low after 12 appearances in a season?

The Yankees need a spark.  They need a youthful thirst.  That feeling that this could be their last day playing baseball.  If anything, Mariano's unfortunate circumstances should provide that.  The Bar needs to be higher.  Where are the Steinbrenners? Big George would hang someone after losing 2 of 3 to the Orioles and splitting with KC.  The Yankees NEED wins against these teams with the strength of the AL East.  Teams like KC and Baltimore need to be buried in April and early May.  That's just the way it is.

Finally - how the hell do the Yankees have the same record as the Mets?  The same Mets who are broke, can't put people in the seats, and have a single recognizable player?  Their GM mailed it in during the preseason yet they are on pace with the Yankees?  That is UNACCEPTABLE.

Damn Straight you will be!

QB2 Carboard Cutout Taken to Prom

YardBarker
Nice try toots.  No way this girl didn't see the $1 million bounty on QB2's virginity.  This has to be, to date, the best effort to get the attention of the backup QB.  Obviously, since Ashley Madison has ruined QB2's chances of ever having a normal relationship with the bounty on lil QB2, we're going to see quite a few stunts like this one.  Personally, I think the cardboard version is much better.  No religion talk, not trying to convert me into a born again, no sermons, no prayers before crappy prom food.  Sounds like a real winner.  No Way QB2 is a good dancer either.  If I had to choose, I'm going cardboard QB2 any day of the week.  No brainer.

Gotta feel bad for the dude who got turned down by this girl for her little cardboard cutout stunt.  She'd rather take a cardboard virgin over an actual normal HS virgin.  That kid is messed up for life.

Also, somewhere, teenager hookup king and pathetic playboy Mark Sanchez is definitely pissed about this - in the most twisted, deranged way possible.

Last Night's L and Bryce Harper

...That one went far

Last night’s game was a total dud.  Phil Hughes did show some slight improvement, but he still manages to give up bombs when he misses just slightly.  For some reason, I recall his fastball having more ‘life’ to it when he was off to such a good start two years ago.  While some of his velocity seems to have returned, he’s still missing some late movement that seems to be causing him to get smoked when he misses out over the plate.

Derek Jeter continues his hit parade, with 3 last night, pushing him back over .400.  Unfortunately, no one else decided to show up, with maybe the exception of Curtis Granderson, who is now leading the AL in HRs.  I feel like every 5 days the Yankees bats just go to sleep.  Having Swisher and Gardner out while batting Stewart and DHing the slumping Martin is a hit to the lineup, but the rest of the Yankees seem to either be hitting doubles or making soft outs.  This team should be eating up the Orioles rotation and padding their stats while pissing off Buck Showalter.  Is it the cold weather in NYC?  Who knows.  Hopefully the Honey Badger Ivan Nova gets them back on track tonight.

And I can’t help myself but to comment on Bryce Harper.  I don’t know Bryce Harper, and us cubicle monkey bloggers are forced to read what’s available on the internet.  However, when a scout calls your skills potentially the greatest of all time for your age, but mentions your personality may be the polar opposite, that’s probably the worst comment you could ever hear.  Speaking about yourself in the 3^rd person and wearing goofy hair cuts and blowing kisses to pitchers needs to stop yesterday for this kid.  Imagine getting your first MLB hit, and having the video tainted by someone in the background mooning the camera.  People are going to pick up on your antics quickly, and they will not be well received.  I truly hope this kid doesn’t become the Randy Moss of MLB.

Giants Draft Wrap Up and Osi

Overall, the Giants did what they had to do and continued to draft athletic players.  Have you seen the above video?  JPP's backflips somehow translated directly into mashing QBs into the ground so hopefully David Wilson can compliment terminator toes Ahmad Bradshaw and maybe return some kicks, something the Giants have been terrible at for years.

I like the remaining picks as well.  Scooping up a very good WR who fell later than expected, a CB who has been on sports science, and a TE who is apparently a freak of nature.  I would have maybe have liked to have seen some work on the OL earlier than round IV but I can't complain.

It's time for these young Giants to step in and learn how to get ALL IN.  Maybe watch some tape on STOMPIN People Out.  One thing they should NOT do is hang out with Osi Umenyiora.  The man continues to shoot himself in the foot and lower his own trade value every time he opens his mouth.  Time for him to go. 

DJ's Got a New Hottie? Ya Don't Say?

NY Post 

File this one under ‘Obviously’.  Derek Jeter hanging out with some hottie?  Ya don’t say?  Is the sky blue?  Does the sun rise in the east?  Is anyone really happy working in a cubicle?  This is really a no brainer and it’s a big shout out to the NY Post for coming up with this gem of an article.  Really though, Not giving a name of the girl and not having a picture is truly disappointing.  I have higher hopes for the NY post and they should be coming through here.  This is probably an even that happens 7-11 times a week with Derek and this is all the Post got?  If this is the reason he set his career high for hits in April I hope we get to see more of this one.  That said, ‘Tall and Attractive with wavy brown hair’?  Sounds like the duchess.  Good thing I know she was laying low while I was out of town abusing my body with the Fraternity brothers.

NYCC's Finest and Thoughts on Freddy's Demotion

Taking 2 of 3 from Detroit is a good sign coming off the tough road trip.  CC delivered exactly what the Yankees and the bullpen needed in shutting down another offensive juggernaut in the Detroit Tigers.  After coming off a strong start against the Rangers, CC Carried the momentum into the Tiger's game, showing a nasty slider and a revitalized fastball.  Basically, he was CC. 

And on the other side of things, Freddy Garcia is being demoted.  Gotta feel for this guy a bit, as he's obviously pressing a bit and something is missing.  You get the feeling that he knows it too, as many of his interview soundbites have been a bit hectic.  Fortunately, he is a team player, and will do what he can out of the long relief role. 

You have to think this next start for David Phelps will be the biggest of his career.  With only maybe one shot to impress coaches before Andy Pettitte is ready to return, Phelps needs to be dialed in and prove himself very quickly.  Let's hope he gets it right.

And finally we're back in business after a long weekend.  If I could even tell you what went down you'd probably be surprised I'm still alive.  Long live ShotGuns, Boats, Kegs, and Fraternity.  If you want more details save it for 140 characters or less on Twitter and hit me up.

Also, not sure what this is supposed to be but it's not very funny.  I guess Cashman wanted to sit behind home plate but he didn't want to be the only person that could be seen on TV in the Wealth Moat.  Nice wig?

Derek Jeter Should be AL Player of the Month

Derek Jeter is on a war path this month and as of last night, shows no signs of slowing down.  He should absolutely be in the top 3 for AL player of the Month and I personally think he should win the award.  Here's why.

DJ has hit a staggering .420 through 4/25 with 34 hits, 10 for extra bases, all out of the lead off spot.  He has come through early and often, and he has come through late.  His 13 RBI are second on the team to Nick Swisher's league leading 21.  Again, coming out of the leadoff spot.  It is understandable that other hitters may have more HR's or Extra Base hits, but those individuals are generally hitting in lineups where everyone is hitting.  Derek has proven that he can hit against pitchers having stellar outings (see Darvish outing) and against both Lefties and Righties.  He's timing fastballs, and driving off speed pitches.  No one has figured out how to get him out consistently.  Right now, he looks like the 1999 version of Derek in which he hit .349.  His 34 hits are the highest in the league right now by 3.  The April he is putting together should not be forgotten and should be rewarded.

The above are the tangible reasons why Derek Jeter should be the AL player of the month, and I could write forever on the intangibles.  He's the Clubhouse leader, wise man, Captain, and primary reason the Yankees have 10 wins in the first month against a very tough schedule.  The man has been an absolute force and it is truly enjoyable to watch him hit.  His confidence at the plate is staggering, and young hitters who aren't bombing HR's should take notice.  At this point, anyone not thinking about Derek Jeter for AL Player of the Month should be seriously considering getting their heads checked.  He's been that good, and every moment of his resurgence at 37 should be enjoyed by all fans.

Osi There's the Door

ESPN NY
Been talking up the Giants team unity all week.  Dedicated players putting in time in the weight room and guys like Victor Cruz not holding out.  Appears we do have a bit of a situation with the biggest flip flopping Defensive End anyone has ever seen.  Loves the Giants - hates the contract.  Angry all year - wants to leave.  Wins Super Bowl - wants to stay.  Now its contract time - wants to leave.  I've heard this story before.  I touched on all this in my draft preview, but it might be time to pull the trigger on Osi Umenyiora.  For a guy who has essentially been a back up, he's been complaining about his contract situation for way to long.  Bottom line, he got hurt, JPP has stepped up big time, and the Giants are very good at developing athletic pass rushers.  I'm just surprised he keeps on talking about it like someone kicked his dog.

It really pains me to talk about Osi like this.  He's done so many good things, and of course you want to see him in Blue next season.  Watching him strip the ball from QBs is a thing of art.  Clearly he's got game.  Unfortunately, he just doesn't see that he's just a part of a larger QB sacking machine that is the Giants Front four.  Even as a starter elsewhere, I doubt he gets as many QB rushes, strips, or sacks as he does with the Giants.  I think he's just taken this contract talk public one too many times.  What happens now is just part of the business.

This is where the Giants should Sell High and convince some other team to take on the aging star.  At the end of the day, I hope they do trade him and get something of value.  I for one don't want to see any more articles written about his comments or contract situation.  It's a distraction and it's simply time for the Giants to reload at DE after Osi and Tollefson are gone.

GIANTS Draft Preview - Sorta

ESPN NY

Well there you have it folks, right there in this ESPN article.  Jerry Reese will draft based on talent and not on position.   The Giants have done the same thing for years and it seems to be bringing home the hardware, so why change?  Mel Kiper and Todd McShay are both going to have a heart attack with this one as they will finally have one spot in the draft that they can't drag out and blab about for days at a time.

Everyone knows the needs at RB, TE, ILB and maybe OL.  Osi really needs to take care of business or get off the pot with respect to his current contract situation and just come back to the team. Guy's been back and forth for months on where he wants to be and the whole dog and pony show is getting old.  What do we know?  He is going to get paid at some point and he obviously likes winning.  He's too smart to just take the money to go to some mediocre team where he'll get double teamed every game and barely break 5 sacks.  He's part of a successful system, and if he can't realize that, then, well, it's time to go Osi.  Saying you're bigger than the team is NOT in the Giants blueprint.  It's been real, you're really good, the Giants staff made you something special, but please don't let the door hit you on the way out.  

Glad I got that out of the way.  I was going to go on for days about players the Giants could draft, but then I'd just be wasting your time like the guys at ESPN struggling to fill daytime SportsCenter clips. I will, however, give my cubicle monkey two cents of the Giants draft when all is said and done.  Probably will give a meaningless A/B/C grade like every other media outlet out there too so get excited...

Eli Killin the Jokes

NJ.com
Eli Manning just killing the jokes these days.  Completely deadpanning the crowd about being the third most talked about QB in his own city despite winning 2 SBs.  Good prep for SNL, and overall, I'm hoping this just fuels the fire.

They say behind every joke is a sliver of truth.  And in this case, Eli is 100% right and I could not be any happier.  Not one bit.  2 Super Bowl trophies.  2 Super Bowl MVPs and still dealing with 'little bro' syndrome.  Fear not Eli Manning, the real sports fans in this town have your back 100%.  We are, however, greedy and want you to win a 3rd.  Let the Jets burn down the house with their silly out-dated wild cat offense.  Let them bring in a preacherboy backup QB and relegate him to special teams while the QB2 virginity tracker ticks away.  Let the rest of the cancers and hold outs drag the team down to a sub .500 level.

All I know is all the Giants are tweeting up a storm about being back together. Victor Cruz isn't holding out like some other CB I know.  Linemen are tweeting pictures of empty weight rooms while they're getting their reps in and, thank God (pun intended) no one is off writing sermons.  Not that that's not a bad thing, but it's certainly not a football thing.

So I hope you kill it on SNL.  I hope your DirecTV commercial with Deion is hysterical.  You will get your comeuppance at the White House next Month when THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES slips that Tiffany's Championship ring on your second ring finger, and when you're introduced in Canton someday as a 3x Super Bowl Champ.

Jorge Loves the Price is Right

So Laura Posada sent a tweet out about a special someone enjoying the Price is Right.  Obviously, this had to be the ultra-competitive Jorge.  Really though, everyone, and I mean everyone loves the Price is Right.  It's the perfect mix of sheer dumb luck (see Plinko) and a true understanding of the value of certain goods.  Capitalism in a 60 minute bit that only retirees, cubicle ridden bloggers, and All Star Catchers really get the benefit of enjoying.  Don't know what the Price is Right is you say?  Well you're probably working to hard...

Anyways, Mrs. Posada's reply got me thinking.  How about a Jorge Posada Price is Right Charity Auction to benefit the Jorge Posada Foundation?  Get a bunch of Miami and NYC's finest together and create a classed up version of the Price is Right.  The grand prize?  A chance to go toe to toe with Jorge himself in the Showcase Showdown.  We get the booze flowing, the laughs going, and someone gets to go home with a new jet ski or boat to add to their already massive collection.  We auction off some autographed Yankees gear, invite Derek, Andy and the whole crew, and bingo, bango, bongo we got ourselves a grand ol time and a million bucks for a good cause.  If this isn't the event of the season, I don't know what is.  Sign me up!

PS - Thanks to Laura for responding to my tweet.  Jorge is and always be an idol of mine.  Hardwork and 100% fire to win.  Hope all is well down South!

Oh and would you look at that?

$1 Million to Get It On With QB2??

CNBC
Some girl is going to get $1 MILLION dollars to prove that she stole QB2's V-Card. You heard that right.  Now, roughly every single psychotic girl in NYC will be chasing QB2 around trying to score. On the road, girls will literally be hanging on this guy no matter where he goes.  Even if he's off preaching somewhere in remote Africa, women will be throwing themselves at him to get a piece of that $1Million pie. This should really do wonders for him on the field now that every girl is secretly trying to prove his off the field performance.  Seriously though, how does a girl prove this?  At the end of the day, there's pretty much no chance this guy is going to ever be able to find a sane girlfriend.  He's brought this all on himself and there's now a $1 million bounty on the most private aspect of his life.  Keep up the good work in Jetland.

PS - Somewhere, Antonio Cromartie is just like 'Damn....'

CC in Command and Jeter Rolling in Win

CC Sabathia is definitely a warm weather pitcher.  He brought his A game tonight and shut down a very powerful Texas offense.  All around, a very commanding performance and a solid victory for the Yankees.  Also, Derek Jeter continues his torrid start.  Just to illustrate how good he's been, he could go 0 for his next 28 and still be hitting .300.  The man is on a warpath.  I've been tweeting about it a lot and with a couple more solid games, he should be in the running for AL player of the month.  He's been that good and it's great to see him doing what he is.  Overall a great win by the Yanks.  Not many downsides in this game.