QB2 Carboard Cutout Taken to Prom

YardBarker
Nice try toots.  No way this girl didn't see the $1 million bounty on QB2's virginity.  This has to be, to date, the best effort to get the attention of the backup QB.  Obviously, since Ashley Madison has ruined QB2's chances of ever having a normal relationship with the bounty on lil QB2, we're going to see quite a few stunts like this one.  Personally, I think the cardboard version is much better.  No religion talk, not trying to convert me into a born again, no sermons, no prayers before crappy prom food.  Sounds like a real winner.  No Way QB2 is a good dancer either.  If I had to choose, I'm going cardboard QB2 any day of the week.  No brainer.

Gotta feel bad for the dude who got turned down by this girl for her little cardboard cutout stunt.  She'd rather take a cardboard virgin over an actual normal HS virgin.  That kid is messed up for life.

Also, somewhere, teenager hookup king and pathetic playboy Mark Sanchez is definitely pissed about this - in the most twisted, deranged way possible.

Last Night's L and Bryce Harper

...That one went far

Last night’s game was a total dud.  Phil Hughes did show some slight improvement, but he still manages to give up bombs when he misses just slightly.  For some reason, I recall his fastball having more ‘life’ to it when he was off to such a good start two years ago.  While some of his velocity seems to have returned, he’s still missing some late movement that seems to be causing him to get smoked when he misses out over the plate.

Derek Jeter continues his hit parade, with 3 last night, pushing him back over .400.  Unfortunately, no one else decided to show up, with maybe the exception of Curtis Granderson, who is now leading the AL in HRs.  I feel like every 5 days the Yankees bats just go to sleep.  Having Swisher and Gardner out while batting Stewart and DHing the slumping Martin is a hit to the lineup, but the rest of the Yankees seem to either be hitting doubles or making soft outs.  This team should be eating up the Orioles rotation and padding their stats while pissing off Buck Showalter.  Is it the cold weather in NYC?  Who knows.  Hopefully the Honey Badger Ivan Nova gets them back on track tonight.

And I can’t help myself but to comment on Bryce Harper.  I don’t know Bryce Harper, and us cubicle monkey bloggers are forced to read what’s available on the internet.  However, when a scout calls your skills potentially the greatest of all time for your age, but mentions your personality may be the polar opposite, that’s probably the worst comment you could ever hear.  Speaking about yourself in the 3^rd person and wearing goofy hair cuts and blowing kisses to pitchers needs to stop yesterday for this kid.  Imagine getting your first MLB hit, and having the video tainted by someone in the background mooning the camera.  People are going to pick up on your antics quickly, and they will not be well received.  I truly hope this kid doesn’t become the Randy Moss of MLB.

Giants Draft Wrap Up and Osi

Overall, the Giants did what they had to do and continued to draft athletic players.  Have you seen the above video?  JPP's backflips somehow translated directly into mashing QBs into the ground so hopefully David Wilson can compliment terminator toes Ahmad Bradshaw and maybe return some kicks, something the Giants have been terrible at for years.

I like the remaining picks as well.  Scooping up a very good WR who fell later than expected, a CB who has been on sports science, and a TE who is apparently a freak of nature.  I would have maybe have liked to have seen some work on the OL earlier than round IV but I can't complain.

It's time for these young Giants to step in and learn how to get ALL IN.  Maybe watch some tape on STOMPIN People Out.  One thing they should NOT do is hang out with Osi Umenyiora.  The man continues to shoot himself in the foot and lower his own trade value every time he opens his mouth.  Time for him to go. 

DJ's Got a New Hottie? Ya Don't Say?

NY Post 

File this one under ‘Obviously’.  Derek Jeter hanging out with some hottie?  Ya don’t say?  Is the sky blue?  Does the sun rise in the east?  Is anyone really happy working in a cubicle?  This is really a no brainer and it’s a big shout out to the NY Post for coming up with this gem of an article.  Really though, Not giving a name of the girl and not having a picture is truly disappointing.  I have higher hopes for the NY post and they should be coming through here.  This is probably an even that happens 7-11 times a week with Derek and this is all the Post got?  If this is the reason he set his career high for hits in April I hope we get to see more of this one.  That said, ‘Tall and Attractive with wavy brown hair’?  Sounds like the duchess.  Good thing I know she was laying low while I was out of town abusing my body with the Fraternity brothers.

NYCC's Finest and Thoughts on Freddy's Demotion

Taking 2 of 3 from Detroit is a good sign coming off the tough road trip.  CC delivered exactly what the Yankees and the bullpen needed in shutting down another offensive juggernaut in the Detroit Tigers.  After coming off a strong start against the Rangers, CC Carried the momentum into the Tiger's game, showing a nasty slider and a revitalized fastball.  Basically, he was CC. 

And on the other side of things, Freddy Garcia is being demoted.  Gotta feel for this guy a bit, as he's obviously pressing a bit and something is missing.  You get the feeling that he knows it too, as many of his interview soundbites have been a bit hectic.  Fortunately, he is a team player, and will do what he can out of the long relief role. 

You have to think this next start for David Phelps will be the biggest of his career.  With only maybe one shot to impress coaches before Andy Pettitte is ready to return, Phelps needs to be dialed in and prove himself very quickly.  Let's hope he gets it right.

And finally we're back in business after a long weekend.  If I could even tell you what went down you'd probably be surprised I'm still alive.  Long live ShotGuns, Boats, Kegs, and Fraternity.  If you want more details save it for 140 characters or less on Twitter and hit me up.

Also, not sure what this is supposed to be but it's not very funny.  I guess Cashman wanted to sit behind home plate but he didn't want to be the only person that could be seen on TV in the Wealth Moat.  Nice wig?