Tuesday, June 5, 2012

State of the Yanks : Someone Disagree?

2 WEEKS since the last post?  Can't give up on a guy.  Long stints on the west coast, rainy games, late nights, it's been an interesting go in Yankee Land.  I was so displeased with Bronx Baseball I needed a break.  Since my last post, Yankee baseball has been better, but that may only be because they couldn't play any worse.  The Orioles are finally playing like the Orioles and the Yankees are actually tied for the wild card.  A pivotal couple games with Tampa and I guess this thing is technically completely turned around?

We'll see.  But here's what I'm seeing:

Phil Hughes and Hiroki Kuroda are bipolar pitchers.  Legit Jekyl and Hyde performances night after night.  It's frustrating.

This starting rotation will not get it done.  Not in October, and not for 162 games.  There needs to be a move here.

Andy Pettitte NEEDS to be good ALL summer for this team to have a real shot.

Rafael Soriano has been quietly solid in the closer role.

Curtis Granderson could strike out 200 times.  While hitting 40 HRs.  This is not good.

The HR reliance needs to stop.  It's alarming that Brett Gardner and Derek Jeter are truly the only small ball players on this team.

Russ Martin could strike out in a tee ball game.

That's it for now.  Let's see how I react after this TB series.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

1 Game Out - Of Last

Throughout April, Derek Jeter was nearly able to single handedly carry the Yankees on his 38 year old shoulders while the pitching staff found their way, Nick Swisher and Brett Gardner got hurt, and Arod and Teixeira completely forgot how to hit in the clutch all together.  We just lost 2 of 3 to the Cincinnati Reds.  Are you kidding me?

This is not the Yankees we are accustomed to.  Speed and a 'win at all cost mindset' is not part of this Yankees team.  Players have 'coughs' and are rotated in and out of the DH spot to prevent their bodies from falling apart.  Mariano Rivera is gone, and teams now play the same number of innings as the Yankees.  Jorge Posada is watching the Price is Right and cruising around Miami in his mini-yacht with his wife and family.  39 year old Andy Pettitte is doing everything he can to hold this together, pitching a solid two outtings, but not getting Ws.  No, this really isn't a good Yankees team right now.  Not at all.

We're watching a mediocre management team, a mediocre coach, and a group of overplayed, aging premadonnas trying to milk the final years of their contracts.  George Steinbrenner would be furious.  There would be newspaper covers with his qoutes, calling out players and returning a better result for the fans.  These sons of his are clearly not him.  Endless amounts of poor mistakes by Joe Girardi and poor decisions by Brian Cashman mixed with a little unlucky streak have the Yankees 1 game out of last place for the first time in 20 + years.

This is a tough time to be a fan.  It is painful to watch.  Wins are dull and losses are brutal.  Something must change, and luck alone wont do it.  This team needs to be pressured to perform or it should be known there will be change.  It HAS to happen or it's going to be a very long summer.

Monday, May 14, 2012

'Don't Stop Relievin' Review

This thing got off to a real slow start, then I heard 'Dont Stop Relievin - ACL's Healin'.  I laughed.  Really the only thing that's made me laugh about the Yankees in days.  At first I thought this had no promise.  None.  I went to a school where the original song might as well be the theme song. Heard it 2 million times too many.  Somehow, however, this goofy guy managed to make me laugh by working in 'meniscus tear' to the tune of Steve Perry.  The power of Mo I guess.  Well done sir well done.

The Yankees better win this series with the O's.  Or I'm going to start thinking 'Our Pets Heads Are Falling Off'.  Nuff said.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Grading Pettitte : Positive First Outting

Andy Pettitte lasted till into the 7th today.  Showing some signs of rust, but generally doing what he always has.  His pitch count was low late and despite a few mistakes, I'd view this as a positive outing.  It's absolutely reassuring to see him pitch well, and I thought he deserved the ovation he got.  It's not easy to sit on the couch for 18 months and then come back out and pitch in the Majors. If I took my eyes off the internet for that long and tried to bring my A-Game back, I wouldn't even know where to begin.  This game could have been an absolute dud for Andy, but he held his own, and we can only hope he continues to fine tune things and builds on this performance.  Overall useless letter grade: B

What is awful is the Yankees 2-3-4-5 hitter going a combined 1-13 against 37 year old Kevin Millwood.  Mark Teixeira, who I've attacked previously for everything from being a softy, to thinking I was drunk when I read his .212 BA, needs to be dropped in the lineup at this point and ARod should be put in the 5 hole.  I mentioned something to the tune of this earlier in the week, and the Yankees just aren't seeing the output needed from them.  Russel Martin's anemic .182 BA also cannot be overlooked at this point.  ARod has gotten by, but Tex and Martin are now massive holes in the lineup.

This is a problem.  Again, if this team believed their spots in the batting order were in doubt, they might play better, but that just doesn't seem to be the case with Girardi.  He's willing to give players endless amounts of time to come around and it has more than often come back to hurt the team.  If Big George (RIP) was still around, I guarantee there would be some action here.

All in, Welcome Back Andy.  One more World Series run and people are going to struggle to not vote you into the Hall.  Happy Mothers Day.

Friday, May 11, 2012

CC is a BOSS

CC Sabathia is an absolute BOSS.  Watching him fist pump get me fired up.  Need a pick me up in my cubicle?  Just rewatch a CC Fist Bump video and I'm instantly a little bit happier about my existence and lack of a window view. 

The big fella is truly worth every penny the Yankees pay him.  He consistently steps up to the plate when the Yankees absolutely need him the most.  Yes, the playoffs are a different story.  However, when he locks in, you know what you're going to get: 8+ innings, 9-12Ks, and a day of rest for the bullpen.  Personally, I think if he wins another championship in pin stripes he starts to enter the Hall of Fame discussions.

Also, it's nice to see Robbie Cano get rolling.   I did think I was still drunk this morning when I saw Teixera's .212 BA.  I understand his defensive value but this guy needs to pick it up.  He absolutely needs to learn to take the ball the other way to avoid the shift.  At this point, as I tweeted about, it may be time to drop him in the order to take some pressure off.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Beckett on Course - To Pound Beers Playing 18 (Probably)

Been a while since I ripped the Red Sox.  Started to feel bad for them being in last place, still claiming sell outs with the seats half full, and generally being terrible. Also,  felt bad they had to play for Bobby V.  I've  also learned that since it's the regular season, players just don't have the time to do stupid things that I can blog about.

 Today we learn that my personal most hated Red Sox, Josh Beckett, decided to take a day off and play some golf when he was supposed to be resting a sore shoulder after skipping a start.  Talk about a blogger layup.  Last year's Beer and Chicken ring leader, the chubby Beckett (see above) continues to make excellent decisions in his sole mission to send this 2012 Boston team further sinking into oblivion.  Now, I personally pound a good 4-6 beers on 18 holes.  More if I'm not driving.  Josh here no doubt took down a least a 12 pack.  As if almost personally tanking 2011 wasn't enough, I'm betting this move is going to go over great in the clubhouse.  As always, keep up the good work in Boston!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Ol Ironsides Andy Pettitte Comin Back

4 more days boys...
See that?  You complain in a blog that the Yankees need a spark and then your wish is granted - Andy Pettitte is coming back to pitch on Sunday.  Just four more nights without ol' Andy and the Yankees might get what they need.  Sure he's pushing 40.  Sure he could be the top MLB Candidate for the next Just for Men commercial.  But he can win.  I hope.  I really hope.  Look I'm pretty beat thus far about the performance of this team.  I went on and on and on last night about something missing.  I was about to become the guy from the bleachers in Major League and borderline give up.  I just don't see 90 wins right now, and that's what its going to take.  Especially with that stupid one game wild card play in.  You really want the Yankees to pitch CC in that game and be left with what they got? H to the Ell No.

Here's something that hit me today when I was sitting in my cubicle contemplating nirvana.  Do people actually still fear Alex Rodriguez and Mark Teixeira?  At one point do pitchers actually just know these guys love to make soft outs in difficult situations.  Psychological advantage 101 right there.  I want to know what people think.  But I know no one will leave a comment.  Because no one actually reads this anyway.

Monday, May 7, 2012

This is What I Come Back To?

5 Days on the left coast and this is what I return to?  A 2-2 split with the Kansas City Royals?  Billy Butler hitting the ball like he's Matt Kemp?  Players admitting they are happy with the split?  A paltry +12 run differential, with Alex Rodriguez and Robinson Cano generating the same amount of HRs and RBI as the hobbled Nick Swisher on the season?

Not happy.  The starting rotation is still searching for an identity like a lost college student studying abroad in Europe.  Phil Hughes, despite an average outing, is definitely lost in Amsterdam somewhere.  And obviously there's the 900 lb gorilla in the room in losing Mariano Rivera.

In all honesty, I thought the man had died or someone had assassinated him.   Yes, he is a living legend.  No, this is not what anyone wants to see happen.  As we've now learned, Greatness refuses to go out like this.  What's left to say here?  Nothing, because every writer in existence already penned Mo's obituary.  You're not going to get that from me. ARod's Oh My God face was the biggest girly man move I've come across when dealing with a teammates injury.  DJ had to set the record straight, as he continues to carry the team both on and off the field.  The show must go on.  David Robertson is a more than adequate replacement.  He absolutely doesn't carry the same aura, but he sure as hell gets people out. Did you even know his ERA is 0.00?  Mo's ERA ever been that low after 12 appearances in a season?

The Yankees need a spark.  They need a youthful thirst.  That feeling that this could be their last day playing baseball.  If anything, Mariano's unfortunate circumstances should provide that.  The Bar needs to be higher.  Where are the Steinbrenners? Big George would hang someone after losing 2 of 3 to the Orioles and splitting with KC.  The Yankees NEED wins against these teams with the strength of the AL East.  Teams like KC and Baltimore need to be buried in April and early May.  That's just the way it is.

Finally - how the hell do the Yankees have the same record as the Mets?  The same Mets who are broke, can't put people in the seats, and have a single recognizable player?  Their GM mailed it in during the preseason yet they are on pace with the Yankees?  That is UNACCEPTABLE.

Damn Straight you will be!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

QB2 Carboard Cutout Taken to Prom

Nice try toots.  No way this girl didn't see the $1 million bounty on QB2's virginity.  This has to be, to date, the best effort to get the attention of the backup QB.  Obviously, since Ashley Madison has ruined QB2's chances of ever having a normal relationship with the bounty on lil QB2, we're going to see quite a few stunts like this one.  Personally, I think the cardboard version is much better.  No religion talk, not trying to convert me into a born again, no sermons, no prayers before crappy prom food.  Sounds like a real winner.  No Way QB2 is a good dancer either.  If I had to choose, I'm going cardboard QB2 any day of the week.  No brainer.

Gotta feel bad for the dude who got turned down by this girl for her little cardboard cutout stunt.  She'd rather take a cardboard virgin over an actual normal HS virgin.  That kid is messed up for life.

Also, somewhere, teenager hookup king and pathetic playboy Mark Sanchez is definitely pissed about this - in the most twisted, deranged way possible.

Last Night's L and Bryce Harper

...That one went far

Last night’s game was a total dud.  Phil Hughes did show some slight improvement, but he still manages to give up bombs when he misses just slightly.  For some reason, I recall his fastball having more ‘life’ to it when he was off to such a good start two years ago.  While some of his velocity seems to have returned, he’s still missing some late movement that seems to be causing him to get smoked when he misses out over the plate.

Derek Jeter continues his hit parade, with 3 last night, pushing him back over .400.  Unfortunately, no one else decided to show up, with maybe the exception of Curtis Granderson, who is now leading the AL in HRs.  I feel like every 5 days the Yankees bats just go to sleep.  Having Swisher and Gardner out while batting Stewart and DHing the slumping Martin is a hit to the lineup, but the rest of the Yankees seem to either be hitting doubles or making soft outs.  This team should be eating up the Orioles rotation and padding their stats while pissing off Buck Showalter.  Is it the cold weather in NYC?  Who knows.  Hopefully the Honey Badger Ivan Nova gets them back on track tonight.

And I can’t help myself but to comment on Bryce Harper.  I don’t know Bryce Harper, and us cubicle monkey bloggers are forced to read what’s available on the internet.  However, when a scout calls your skills potentially the greatest of all time for your age, but mentions your personality may be the polar opposite, that’s probably the worst comment you could ever hear.  Speaking about yourself in the 3rd person and wearing goofy hair cuts and blowing kisses to pitchers needs to stop yesterday for this kid.  Imagine getting your first MLB hit, and having the video tainted by someone in the background mooning the camera.  People are going to pick up on your antics quickly, and they will not be well received.  I truly hope this kid doesn’t become the Randy Moss of MLB.